Arduous Summer

I am expecting my summer to be hectic since I'm planning to work ahead on my thesis proposal but what I don't expect are the arduous school activities - almost a week of irritating street dancing practice for some event that will be held on May 8, the batch beach party that I'm not looking forward to, though I'm looking forward for it to be fun, I have a bad feeling about the said activity and when I have a bad feeling about something/someone; 75% of it comes true. I've run out of optimism considering there are lots of negative energy roaming not only in my customary feeling about school but also at home as well. The thing I now want most is a bigger space of freedom for myself which some people there would refuse giving me to because of the freakin' dangers outside this and that etc. etc. . I know they're being protective and all but I'm getting irritated about the ways they're doing to me. It's like living in a house arrest, I even got scolded one time for not asking permission to go to the city for spending some leisure time - WTF!

As I've been experiencing recently, it's been all fu**ed-up because I haven't seen these kinds of things coming around summer vacation. My plans are totally ruined and some free time are wasted because of these unexpected circumstances. Even some of my friends are snubbing me. Now, I really believe in the saying "Help yourself before helping others." - putting it into moral values, it's really on a sense of being selfish but what's the freakin' use of helping others when you yourself won't even benefit from it? nor will the people you've helped will help you in return? That's reality, and reality is a "give and take" system. You help me, I help you and vice versa. I'm still fuming mad on those people who I call "ingrates". Oh well, I really hope you'll have your days but I'm still glad to hear there are some people out there who would not hesitate to at least give some respect to me; without them, maybe I'll be battling those m***********s myself. Don't even think I have forgiven you. Making a ceasefire agreement is different from making a peace treaty.

Overall, my summer vacation so far is all but kaput.